The ‘inner child’ – a double-edged concept in psychology and self-development

The concept of the ‘inner child’ has proven its therapeutic potential across many different psychological therapies and in many different contexts. Many people all over the world have benefited from reconnecting with and re-membering their ‘inner child’. It is a profound idea giving rise to powerful methods of therapy and self development. Across the whole spectrum of human emotional experience, from trauma, neglect, pain and shame on the one hand, to playfulness, joy, awe, inspiration and love on the other, the inner child is a vital source of creativity, intimacy, purpose and meaning.

However, as every powerful idea and tool that holds potential for radical and therefore frightening transformation, it is not immune against being used in defensive, sabotaging, unskilful and counter-productive ways. The concept of the ‘inner child’ attracts magical thinking, and the quite understandable and valid longing for a fairy godmother waving a magic wand, taking away all the pain and helplessness. Having practised and used the idea of the ‘inner child’ through a variety of therapeutic or self-help methods, many people struggle with disappointment or blame themselves for having failed to do it properly, when the desired results are not forthcoming. We must face also the suspicious, mistrustful, recalcitrant child that has lost faith in adults, including ourselves.

For many people the main problem with inner child work is that they feel it doesn’t actually translate into their adult life or benefit their outer relationships. We do not want the inner child to get lost in a fantasy of eternal youth, like a Peter Pan or Cinderella universe, or to be trapped like Narcissus gazing at his own reflection and only hearing echoes of his admiring Echo.
In this workshop, suitable both for interested members of the general public, as well as practitioners in the helping and therapeutic professions, we will approach ‘inner child’ work in an embodied and experiential way. Even experienced practitioners will find it useful to engage in their own process through the experiential exercises, as well as being able to use their skills in small group work and learn from experiencing and discussing the demonstrations. 

How can we create a space and presence that will facilitate the inner child’s development towards adulthood?

To really do justice to the inner children and their powerful longing to manifest their potential, we must not resort to facile techniques and wishful thinking, but acknowledge fully the past traumas, the conflicts and growing pains which are part of any organic development. Genuine fulfilment in adult life, through curious engagement, impactful effectiveness, joyful competence and passionate loving requires robust and sustained development, born out of patient, committed and tenacious attentiveness, allowing an integration of child and adult into a whole that is larger than the sum of its parts.

Like every blood-and-flesh child, whether that is ‘you’ decades ago, your own children now, or any child in your life, your ‘inner child’ needs mindful sustained parental attention, both from yourself and from people around you. This is complicated by the fact that as the child develops, its needs change quite radically from phase to phase, oscillating between closeness and separation/differentiation.

This weekend is an opportunity to engage with the complex reality of your inner children, warts and all. The workshop is designed to give space to all of you, your adult AND your inner child, taking your embodied experience as a starting point, whatever that is. Seriously: whatever the relationship between your adult and your child, that’s where we will start: we will be curious about their unique relationship with each other, whether they are meeting or not meeting, connected or disconnected, loving, hateful or indifferent. We all understand intuitively that access to child consciousness and to the younger self cannot happen or be imposed on adult terms. To find the ‘truth’ of the child, we need to meet the child on their own terms, through their vital faculties, through the body and through the imagination.

Bringing a mature parental attentiveness, loving but firm, neither indulgent nor harsh, ready to meet your shame and avoidances, we will build together a powerful experiential space, even though we meet in cyberspace. We invite your participation and contribution, to bring your vulnerability and power, all your inner children and all your vital adult and parental qualities and faculties.